You can make should thoughts better by including a plan. ![]() Should makes you feel obligated and powerless as it robs you of choice. Once you’ve reframed your thought, it’s time to take action and resume the task at hand. Should is such a horrible word, in self-talk or in conversation. Reframe that thought into a self-suggestion like I know what xx metrics are, I know what I’ve done to prepare for this meeting, just take it slide by slide. For example, if you’re about to present in a meeting, don’t let yourself think I’m going to mess this up and embarrass myself in front of my boss. Stop, relax, and take a few deep breaths begin to reframe the ANT into something positive. Negative or unhelpful thoughts are often automatic, but they don’t have to take control of you. Here’s how the 5 R’s work: after recognizing the ANT, refuse to let it grow into more ANTs. Such thoughts can contribute to feelings of panic in social and performance situations because they start a cycle of catastrophic thinking. Of course, stopping ANTs is much easier said than done, but there are some “ANTeater” tactics to retrain your thinking. If something bad happens once, you expect it to happen again and again. Negative thoughts play a major role in causing and worsening social anxiety disorder (SAD). Once a person has identified what their ANTs are and where they stem from, they can begin to train their brain to not think in this way. The key to defeating the ANTs in both your mind and the minds of your team members is acknowledging the automatic negative thought – don’t force it away every time one pops up. Challenging automatic thoughts requires a combination of strategies that can be implemented at home or with the guidance of a mental health professional.
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